Libido is the term that the noted founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, used to label the sexual drive or sexual instinct. He noted that the sexual drive is characterized by a gradual buildup to a peak of intensity,followed by a sudden decrease of excitement. As he studied this process in his patients, Freud concluded that various activities like eating and drinking, as well as urination and defecation share this common pattern. Consequently, he regarded these behaviors as sexual or libidinous as well. Freud also became interested in the development of the libido, which he saw as the basic and most powerful human drive. He believed that the development of the libido involved several distinct and identifiable stages. Freud's Theory on How Libido Develops During infancy, he noted, sexual drive is focused on the mouth, primarily manifested in sucking. He labeled this the oral stage of libidinous development. During the second and third years of a child's life, as the child is undergoing toilet training, focus and erotically tinged pleasure shifts to rectal functions. Freud labeled this the anal stage. Sexual Desire There is in fact big difference between preadolescent girl an adolescent or post adolescent woman That difference is sexual desire adolescent girl post adolescent woman chemical messenger called testosterone circulating throughout their body that causes their mind body to do things they no control over Suddenly their body has mind of its own For unknown reasons they experience sexual arousal are driven to seek out sexual partner While sitting in school at work in middle of night while they sleep their body may explode with desire Their vulva vagina suddenly come alive make themselves known Liquid flows from their vagina their clitoris throbs their heart pounds Their clitoris vulva nipples are acutely sensitive to touch In childhood they may masturbated because it felt good but now they feel compelled to may do so frequently hollow ache in their lower abdomen may cause them to seek something to fill soothe it vaginal ache sight of another person male or female may cause them to drift towards them their feet moving without thought They do not know why it just happens They are full of boundless energy excitement Sexual thoughts images become overpowering They become consumed with one thought sex Non-sexual things suddenly become sexual Everything is about sex No matter how hard they try to resist these feelings they cannot No amount of logic will deviate them from their course They are sexual desirous horny They may be innocent pure but they are definitely not asexual One Size Does Not Fit All Sexual desire is quite simply force or motivation that compels us to reproduce to sex It is no different than desire to eat sleep We need to eat sleep to survive individuals reproduce to exist species It is primary urge that significantly influences our lives because it is essential to our survival It often controls us more than we control it While we may try to suppress our sexuality our sexual desire energy will be expressed in one form or another Since we now means of avoiding conception our sexual desire often becomes desire for sexual pleasure physical intimacy Perception of Desire something else or deny it all together In past to varying degrees today we said teenage girl or woman was either in love or out of control when she expressed sexual desire If she married children she was in love If she casual sex multiple partners female partners or did not marry she was out of control Her sexual energy was seen sign of rebellion This forced women to deny suppress their sexual desire identity if they wanted to be accepted by their peers Good girls simply were not sexual In today's society we frequently expect women to be sexual orgasmic while still remaining virginal Many if not most men been taught they should not want sexual wife Their mother has set example by which their wife must live mother they know is asexual would never be desirous of sex she openly rejects any woman who is sexual; daughters learn from same role model man may brag about sexual skills of his girlfriend but will become openly angry if anyone should suggest his wife does anything of sexual nature girlfriend can be slut but wife must be virgin Men often do not want to bring woman who is known to be sexual home to meet their mother sexual girlfriend often has to transform herself into an asexual mother on crossing threshold of marriage or motherhood Female sexual desire must always be controlled expressed at appropriate times in appropriate ways We simply do not acknowledge our adolescent daughters including those who not reached their teen years may experience sexual desire presence of pubic hair indicates androgen levels are on rise; breast development indicates estrogen levels are increasing We usually expect them to be innocent pure devoid of sexuality We deny their sexual desire simply say they crush are experiencing first love or again are out of control This leads to confusion harm because they are not permitted to acknowledge true nature of their feelings We certainly make no effort to help them understand what is happening or provide them with constructive outlet for their sexual energy ie masturbation Instead we send them in search of love Love then becomes hazardous undertaking Female Sexuality While men women may desire sex what they desire is often two very different things Men can more easily achieve orgasm during intercourse because vagina is directly stimulating their penis Women frequently find greater enjoyment in manual oral stimulation of their vulva their clitoris is more likely to be directly stimulated Men enjoy “sex” women “foreplay” One wants “sex” other does not This frequently results in conflicts between men women concerning what they desire enjoy sexually They both want to experience sexual pleasure but how they each want to go about it is where conflict arises key things to remember are they ultimately want same thing they do not to achieve it at same moment in time for it to be fulfilling While we may assume that sexual desire results in women wanting to participate in vaginal intercourse this is often not case She is more likely to desire that which sexually arouses her gives her pleasure results in orgasm; without worry of pregnancy Women frequently report vaginal intercourse is not intense or enjoyable clitoral stimulation during intercourse their level of arousal lubrication decreases they do not experience orgasm during intercourse on regular basis if at all Vaginal stimulation alone may actually increase woman's feeling of sexual frustration Even if woman experiences desire for intercourse vaginal ache she may find intercourse does not fulfill her sexual needs She may enjoy it physically but finds it leaves her wanting more; she wonders what is missing or wrong with her young woman may explore intercourse hoping it provides fulfillment but finds it does not resulting in conflicting feelings She may find men sexually attractive but discover sex with female partners is more enjoyable because it is not focused on or involve vaginal intercourse Society says women should desire intercourse if they do not there must be something wrong with them woman may feel pressured to intercourse which results in emotional conflict loss of desire If woman is not happy stressed her body instinctively knows it would not be wise for her to become pregnant suppresses her sexual desire If sex is not enjoyable for women is in fact an emotional burden their body will say no to sex It is vicious cycle To better understand sexual desire lets examine sexuality of preadolescent girl post-adolescent woman Both may enjoy physical intimacy because it feels good makes them feel safe secure physically emotionally If you acknowledge preadolescent girls are sexual both may masturbate experience sexual pleasure orgasm They may seek out sexual partners because of desire for physical intimacy security because they are curious to experience sexual pleasure quite simply to fun motivation behind these activities exists in absence of true sexual desire While their actions may be sexual their motive may not be Other than age there appears to be no obvious difference between girls women other than one has capacity to reproduce That is exactly what society expects us to believe that neither desires sex Sexual Desire levels of sexual desire teen or woman experiences vary considerable from one to next woman's level of desire its rhythms are unique to her woman should not assume there is something wrong with her if she does or did not experience sexual desire to degree described above I've gone to extreme to make point; though many women do experience intense desire What is normal depends solely on individual Many may not experience intense desire or experience it later in life rather than during puberty early adulthood woman should not assume that since her peers are more sexual or experience greater sexual desire there is something wrong with her It is okay not to experience sexual 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